


daimios and shoguns

by Fictionboysarebetter



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, Kinda, Missing Scenes, and also if u dont know the truth abt "big sis junko", as far as we're aware anyways, dont read this, he deserved better ok, if you dont know the mastermind is, mild history references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29423838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionboysarebetter/pseuds/Fictionboysarebetter
Summary: He will change the world. He decides this two different times.
Relationships: Enoshima Junko & Shingetsu Nagisa, Shingetsu Nagisa & Towa Monaca
Kudos: 7





	daimios and shoguns

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally based off of a prompt i saw on like tiktok or something but it isnt too accurate so whatever. 
> 
> um but anyways i wrote another introspection! like always. woops.
> 
> please heed the warnings, there's some mention of a dead body and the aftermath of nagisa killing his father, but other than that the descriptions arent too bad?? also monaka/monaca? and nagisa have some dialogue near the end and she is just how you would expect her to be so.. be careful. 
> 
> if anyone's curious what the prompt is, it was something like, "start the story off with a sentence that has a happy meaning, no double meanings or anything, and end the story with the same sentence that is now chilling, horrific, etc."

He will change the world. He decides this as he is looking down at the page of a textbook entailing the details of Japanese feudalism and wonders. He continues to rack up XP to suit Father's needs, and this levels him up. As long as he continues to meet Father's expectations, (which, in all honesty, are never truly met) then he will continue to level up, but is there a max level?

He has never been granted access to silly things like real video games, so he is unsure about the specifics. 

Based on reasonable deductions, it would be logical to assume that there is no limit and you just keep leveling up and up, right? So that would mean the more he levels up, the better he would meet Father's expectations. 

That is all he wants. To meet Father's expectations. He expects the very best. No less can be accepted, which is why he has to endure the analeptics because it is simply restoring his HP and allowing him to continue working. Working will further level him up, and maybe one day it will be enough for him. Father will always expect more of him, it seems, but it isn't his fault Nagisa wasn't born enough. He needs to work hard, hard, harder, hard as he can so that he can stop wallowing in this useless self-pity and waste away like a fool.

Even as he feels as though he wants to scratch his eyes out—they itch and hurt and hurt so much and the words are playing Ring-Around-The-Rosy on the paper to their own melody—he processes the words and makes sure they stay there. Proving yourself is not an effortless task, so he simply needs to stop being overdramatic and keep reading. If it meant subconsciously rereading the same sentence a few times, maybe it would not matter because he sees it and feels it and tastes it in his brain. 

Because he will meet Father's expectations and make him proud. Until then, he will keep leveling up, and by the time he meets Father's expectations, he should have changed the world by then. This is what he thinks.

Visionaries of the daimyo and shogun shake on the page. 

————————

It was supposed to be set in stone. Children are supposed to love their parents. 

Why does finding out that it didn't have to be that way feel so right? 

Kids are supposed to love their parents. 

...But the underlying truth of Big Sis's words are prevalent. They are there and they can't be ignored.

(But then what would everything have been for? All of the XP that had slowly piled up and raised the bar higher and higher for Nagisa's effort to chase after? It sounds wrong when you put it like that, but it is just...fatherly love. Determination to make your child succeed..?

Why is the answer so uncertain?)

As Daimon and Kemuri stand over a dead, disfigured body, he knows the answer. Adults made that the answer. It was all about power dynamic, like the way churches in Europe would encourage blind faith so that everyone who opposed the church looked like an idiot. Someone who did not have common sense. A game that they made sure they ran to ensure that the general population would stay on their side.

Adults make the children look inferior to them, and teach them to be compliant little drones so that they will never oppose them. Because oh, how much citizens loved traditions, apparently. 

It's just as Big Sis says. The adults really can be called Demons. Filthy, terrible, trash-like, unforgivable, arrogant Demons. People who will never understand what they are doing is wrong because they are so sure that they are better because other adults have taught them that, too. It is a system so deeply ingrained that unless an entirely new generation is brought up without their influence, it will never go away.

Finding out the truth brings both a wave of knowing and a wave of shame. How could he have been so ignorant as to not realize his true intentions? Of using him. Using him as an experiment. There was no 'goal' to change the world or be the best for him. He was just a set-up, a fool who was simply a lab rat to see how long he could go without breaking. This is what he finds out in a journal beside his father's desk. When he kills him and has to wash off the blood and scrubs the skin so hard that it goes raw, he doesn't feel any guilt. Just emptiness. Because he's in the right. How does it feel to be the one that broke first? He wonders, because his father's eyes, who had flashed with fear right before Nagisa stabbed him with an HIV tube had been full of a lot of different emotions.

Big Sis reassures him and tells him he did the right thing, that the Demon deserved to die and should not be considered his father in the first place. And when Nagisa tells her that he is actually not feeling well, she tells him that kids everywhere deserved the same feeling of relief that Nagisa is having. Kids are the foundation for the world, the future, so they need to do their very best for the future of the world. She tells him to keep that in mind as she leaves with a charismatic wink. He is left in the bathroom alone now.

He does not know why he feels so melancholy all of a sudden. He was always able to distract thoughts and emotions like this before, when he was caught up with being the very best and studying all day. He lost track of what level he was on before running away, but he wishes he remembered.

He had always had purpose and expectations and people were expecting something of him. It felt like a goal, however destructive it was. What would he do without a purpose? It was back to square one, when Big Sis found them all, ready to take their lives. By feeling these things, he knows he is caught in the demon's trap because he doesn't owe that demon that raised him anything, that he should be relaxing to spite him. Nagisa has never had to think for himself when it comes to figuring out what to do. 

He needed something to do and someone that would please please set the high standards he couldn't live without.

————————

Big Sis really is like a savior to him.

Even after death, he can see the same light he saw in her in Monaka. 

She speaks to them all after Big Sis's death because she knows that Big Sis was their hope. She was their guide and their inspiration and role model that they did not have as a kid. 

Monaka says to Nagisa alone, "Monaka knows you're very upset about Big Sis's death. Monaka knows best of all.

"But Monaka believes that you need to remember Big Sis and her words. Big Sis always expected so much of you, so it would be a total shame to let her down now, right?" She questions with an innocent stare off to the side.

"R-Right—"

"That's why Monaka believes we should see Big Sis as a symbol of hope for all of us kids. Didn't Big Sis allllways tell you how filthy Demons are?"

Yes. "Yes. And I wholeheartedly agree with her."

She rolls her wheelchair ever so slightly forward. "And Demons did such mean, disgusting things to you and I. Monaka can't even imagine how many other kids are going through the torture we had to..." Monaka sympathizes with drawn in eyebrows and a bowed head. "That's why I plan to carry on Big Sis's wish. Shingetsu-kun, what do you think we should do to establish a safe place for the kids? Monaka will be guided by your answer. Big Sis had some big plans, y'know? You need to make sure you don't disappoint her."

He doesn't want to disappoint Big Sis.

"I believe that establishing a safe place for kids, as you suggested, would be the best route." He says calmly instead. Monaka is very understanding, so maybe she'll allow him time to think this over and make the most logical plan to move forward...

Monaka lights up, no longer looking sad. "Monaka totally agrees! A safe haven for kids like us with no adults. Hey Shingestu-kun, how do you think that you'll get rid of all the straggler demons who weasel their way into our paradise? Adults are so malevolent that it's guaranteed that at least one of them would selfishly try to ruin our perfect paradise." And again she looks sad. It makes Nagisa sad as well, in a sense. Monaka seems to expect a lot from him as well.

"Maybe there is a way...to abolish all adults from this paradise permanently?" He says without thinking, because it sounds like something Big Sis would like.

Monaka smiles and balls her fists up near her face. "Shingetsu-kun, you're so admirable! If Big Sis were here, she would totally tell you how genius that idea is. How do you suggest we abolish them in the most permanent way possible? Remember, we need to make sure that absolutely no demons ruin paradise for the children. The kids are counting on you, Shingetsu-kun!"

Nagisa feels a little queasy. They're counting on him, apparently. "Relying...on me?" He questions, because why? Were their expectations for him there too?

Monaka still looks overjoyed. "That's right, Shingetsu-kun. All of these kids are trapped with the demons and want to have fun with us! They live in fear and shame and ignorance, because they don't even know what the adults are doing to them is wrong! You need to save them, Shingetsu-kun!" Her enthusiastic tone does not match the words she is saying. Maybe she would have liked being L'il Ultimate Drama better than Utsugi.

"We need to...save them...from the demons." It was not a question. Nagisa knew what he had to do. "Then we should establish a place where adults no longer exist, as you said before. And to ensure that the adults will not corrupt our playground..."

"Go onnnnn," Monaka encourages. 

"...We need to kill the demons. Is that what you're trying to get me to say?" He concedes, because it seems to be what Monaka is hinting at.

"Shingetsu-kun, Monaka is so sad that you would assume Monaka would make you say it instead of her...you're just so smart that Monaka knew you would have the best ideas! You didn't think Monaka would go to Daimon-kun or Kemuri-san about this, did you? You're just so important! I knew Big Sis was right in expecting so much from you!

"I hope you know Monaka and Big Sis will be watching you closely because our hopes are set so high because of your brilliance! Just to confirm, Monaka totally agrees with your idea!" Monaka's tone grows darker. "The gross demons totally deserve to die for what they've done to us."

"Monaka is counting on youuuu!" Her voice snaps back into her high-pitched enthusiasm as she rolls away. 

Nagisa's mind is quiet for a second. He knows what needs to be done. He will change the world.

**Author's Note:**

> i read a theory somewhere that whenever monaca slips up and says i instead of talking in third person that its a glimpse at how she truly feels. i only heard that after finishing the game so idk if its accurate at all but i think it'd be pretty cool if that were true. i tried using that here but in all honesty?? this fic is executed pretty poorly. i tried ig


End file.
